not sleeping

I'm not sleeping.
I'm not sleeping because I've been concentrating very hard on not worrying the painful zit under my nose. Don't touch it, don't touch it, it will go away faster. A mantra since adolescence.

I'm not sleeping because I'm worried that my cat, Dolce, may have picked up a flea when I had him out on the front porch for six seconds this morning.

I'm not sleeping because I had a long, long nap after a long walk after a big breakfast of avocado omelete and canadian bacon.

I'm not sleeping because the man I went out with last night hasn't called me today.

I'm not sleeping because Obama is meeting with Billy Graham. Why?

I'm not sleeping because I'm watching a PBS program about The Governator's plans to make California energy efficient--the rich, non minority areas, that is. He looks like a ken-doll, all molten facial skin and non-moving forehead.

I'm not sleeping because I saw some pictures of myself from 7 years ago and I looked like Jabba the Hut. Talk about bloat.

I'm not sleeping because the world in the night is scary and fucked, the tea party people are at the door wanting me to redo my census form for my white side only, I will never find a cream to tame my alligator skin, you don't like me anymore, Disney World is too big to fail, and there is no mint left for mint chocolate chip ice cream. It's a lost resource. Really.

I'm not sleeping because I'm thinking of all the books Nicholas Sparks has written and all the books I have not written which will be so much better than what Sparks has written, naturally.

I'm not sleeping because I really really really really really really need a new bra to fight perpetual "uniboob." Unsightly.

I'm not sleeping because a few of you have cancer and I can't stand the thought of you in pain, of you suffering and I wish I could take it all away.

I'm not sleeping because some crazy old racists passed a Nazi-ish anti-immigration law in the state where my beloved mama lives. She's going to have to kick some of her neighbors square in the beeee-hind.

I'm not sleeping because I don't really know what's going on in the Middle East and I really don't want to know but I feel like it's intellectually lazy not to try and find out.

I'm not sleeping because I worked 2 days in the last 2 weeks because my fever wouldn't go away despite a massive amount of anti-inflammatories. Is there a way to be fashionably poor? Is there a free class on how to achieve this?

I'm not sleeping because DIVAS NEVER DOZE!

I'm not sleeping because I'm writing this blog, and my mind is tired so I'm not in the usually censorious place and it feels good to translate thoughts without a filter as my fingers fly across the keys.

I'm not sleeping because every time I think about Jon Stewart saying that Fox News is the "Lupus of news" it makes me laugh so hard I snort.

I'm not sleeping because I'm mad that PBS keeps interrupting the excellent programing that they only show when they are beggin for money with poorly toupeed local public television employees asking me for the $10 I sent in months ago.

I'm not sleeping..zzzzzzzzzz.