Too beautiful for Spanx

 First, I am not judging anyone who chooses to wear Spanx, especially if they make you feel good about how you look and feel.

Big Ole Butt....

http://inamerica.blogs.cnn.com/2012/06/08/opinion-do-powerful-women-need-to-tame-their-unsightly-bulges/?iref=allsearch


I'm fat by society's standards. My weight fluctuates for a variety of reasons, some of which are out of my control. And there are times when I eat too much, or badly, and I certainly subject myself to harsh criticism. It's a struggle. From my earliest days, I was put on diets, told by my dad that he'd buy me a whole new wardrobe if only I lost weight, maligned by boyfriends who sampled my charms and then told me I had to get to the gym, teased like we all are when we don't conform to certain standards. I'm convinced that most of these people weren't concerned about my health.

But even though many people find my bulges unsightly, or subject their opinions to the narrowness of American standards of beauty, I mainly try to hold my head high as a big, beautiful woman who glows from without and within. And this glow includes being as comfortable as possible in my clothes.

When Spanx first came out, several friends and a relative advised me to try them. I perused the website and was a bit horrified to see what amounted to a spandex version of a girdle. I went to my favorite ample woman store and looked at them through their packaging.  Spandex galore from breastbone to knee. I could feel the heat it would generate through a second layer of clothes. My favorite sales associate told me that she'd tried them and almost fell out in church. The manager of the store extolled their virtues, saying that she finally had the hourglass figure she'd always wanted. But I knew they weren't for me.

Recently, the enormously talented singer, Adele, said that she'd worn 4 pairs of Spanx at the Grammy Awards. It saddens me to know that this wonderful, beautiful young woman tortured herself like that to look a certain way based on an impossible standard.

So, I troll the internet for good looking, plus sized clothes, which are hard to find. I wear make-up most of the time to enhance the natural. I enjoy being able to take a full breath. And I endeavor to not mind too much when my jiggle makes others uncomfortable--oh the stares at the beach! I delete the  emails from "Big Beautiful Women" personal websites, where dating a fat woman is a "fetish." And I await the day when my illness remits and I can resume my gentle, but effective exercise regime to be healthier, and not necessarily thinner.

The article in the link at the top of this post gladdens my heart.  Maybe, just maybe, it'll touch a few women and make them think about a little more freedom in terms of who they are and widen their sense of what is beautiful. Maybe it'll make some of us think about the implications of our narrow standard of what is attractive. Perhaps we can rethink the political implications of subjecting the majority of people to an impossible norm.

I don't think Karl Rove binds his man breasts so he'll be more "effective" and "acceptable."  I'm pretty sure the Weinstein brothers who are enormously successful movie producers don't wear man Spanx to enhance their credibility. And I'll bet Michael Moore doesn't encase himself in a full body swimsuit with a skirt when he goes to the beach. Think on it. I welcome your comments.