Precious

Whoooooooaaaaaaa lawd.

I had to see "Precious." Tyler Perry, one of the executive producers, wrote a moving blog about how seeing the movie led him to face his childhood of abuse, but that's not why I knew I had to see it. I had to see it because everyone needs to see it, especially those who don't understand institutionalize racism, who say things like "let those people pull themselves up by their own bootstraps", people who don't get that so many of us are walking around with trauma histories, our bodies and our self-esteem in recovery, and that those of us who have "healed" and "moved on" cannot forget those who still suffer--we must remember to remain human.

"Precious" may not be the movie to see for someone with a trauma history. It might make those who are depressed even more so. But what is special about this movie is that it doesn't offer any easy solutions, or have some great white savior come out of the mists to save everyone or even a Black one. Despite what the extraordinarily resilient Precious has been through, she, in fits and starts, begins to save herself-but you don't even know, even at the end of the film, if she is out of trouble. And what really touched me was that she is ensconced in so much fat that it's hard for you to understand her facial expressions, much less what she is saying. Fat is a great defense against the world--I've used it to remain removed from the world, my feelings, touch, etc. Precious' first words are "I want a light skinned boyfriend with good hair." There are many such references to the aparthied that continues in this country--what we consider beautiful and valuable and how we fool ourselves into thinking otherwise at PC moments. How we judge by very narrow standards, outward appearances, silliness, greed.

Gracious...Monique as Precious' mother Mary. "Mother" isn't the word for this person. I wondered briefly what happened to her but her brutality is so horrific that you lose any compassion you might have. At least I did. A masterful performance.

There are also great performances by a makeup less Mariah Carey and Paula Patton as Precious' teacher but what is so moving and heartbreaking and reviving is Precious herself--I don't think the actress who plays her has more than 50 words of dialogue--but she manages to show us a seismic shift with baby steps through a system that is still solidly weighted against any forward movement.

And that's why we have to see Precious. To remind ourselves that the stuff still ain't working. To remember all that we are fighting for. And to remember how lucky we are.

Sometimes I feel discouraged
And think my work's in vain
But then the holy spirit
revives my soul again...

From "A Balm in Gilead"